Organizational Abandonment in Law Enforcement: The Family That Isn’t

“We are a family.”

“We’ve got your backs.”

“We support you, officers.”

These are common phrases spoken by police chiefs and sheriffs across the country. The shared mission of protecting and serving bonds law enforcement officers in ways outsiders may never fully grasp. Carrying the weight of a badge often means repeated exposure to trauma—sometimes daily. Out of this, we develop trust, brotherhood, and a sense of family forged by facing adversity together. On any given shift, an officer may save a life, take a life to protect others, or even pay the ultimate sacrifice. And in return, they ask for little more than support from their leaders and the reassurance that those bonds will endure.

But here’s the hard truth:

The promise of “family” rarely lasts.

The Myth of Lifelong Support

I have spoken with officers across the country—and I’ve lived this reality myself. Eventually, your organization will leave you behind.

A personal example: After being shot in the line of duty, I was formally separated from my agency with a duty-disability pension. The notification didn’t come from my chief, my command staff, or even a phone call. Instead, it came as an email from human resources—sent a month after the fact and the day before Thanksgiving; stating simply that I was no longer employed. No warning. No conversation. No next steps. Just: You don’t work here anymore, and by the way, this was official a month ago. Goodbye.

When bonds like this are severed, the effects can be devastating. Officers who once stood shoulder-to-shoulder are left with isolation, disillusionment, and at times, despair. For some, this rupture becomes a contributing factor to suicide. This is what I call a force multiplier of trauma; stacking abandonment on top of the already well-documented cumulative toll that law enforcement carries.

Defining the Problem: Organizational Abandonment

Together with my mentor, Dr. Marla Friedman, a first responder psychologist and former Director of Badge of Life, a national nonprofit dedicated to mental health and suicide prevention for first responders, we developed a working definition:

Organizational Abandonment: A relational rupture between an organization and its employee(s) that results in a perceived loss of attention, validation, comfort, and support by the employee(s), which undermines their basic needs of safety, stability, and attachment.

In plain terms:

It’s the moment when an officer realizes their agency isn’t there for them and perhaps never was in the way they believed.

Through Maslow’s lens, this rupture mirrors the unmet needs of a child whose caregiver is absent. In law enforcement’s paramilitary culture, the loss of security, belonging, and meaning directly undermines an officer’s well-being.

Why Agencies Can’t Be Everything

Here’s an important distinction: I do not blame agencies.

Law enforcement organizations aren’t built to provide lifelong attachment to employees. Their mission is, and always will be, to serve the community—ethically, legally, and consistently. The work goes on after every shift, every retirement, and even after a line-of-duty death. Chiefs, sheriffs, and superintendents alike will eventually be replaced. The calls for service will never stop.

That is the reality.

The Leader’s Responsibility

So what do we do with this truth?

First, we must stop lying to ourselves. Agencies are not family. They won’t always be there.

But leaders can.

True leaders walk their talk. They recognize dignity and worth in their people. They know how to say:

“I care about you and your family. I will be here to support you in transition and connect you with the right people and organizations built for the long haul.”

It is the leader’s responsibility to foster networks that sustain officers beyond the badge; connecting them to nonprofits, peer groups, and mental health resources that are designed for continued care.

Finding Purpose Beyond Kevlar and Polyester

The research is clear: perceived support is the single biggest predictor of long-term recovery from trauma. Growth comes when first responders find purpose beyond the uniform—understanding that while the physical world changes, what transcends gives us peace.

If leaders fail to provide these connections, the blame will fall squarely on their shoulders. Because everything is “fine”…until it isn’t. And no one is immune to tragedy.

Moving Forward

We cannot stop organizational abandonment entirely—but we can mitigate its harm.

• Acknowledge the reality: Agencies are not families.

• Lead with integrity: Connect your people to resources that last.

• Foster purpose: Help officers find meaning beyond the badge.

Let’s work together to reduce the harm of abandonment and to grow stronger—through connection, support, and a deeper purpose that transcends service.